May 2013
mybigfatredwedding:
How Did You Find That Untagged Post From 11 Months Ago a story of confusion, fear, and general unease
the-elderswear:
i like how most musicals are about young love and self-discovery and then sweeney todd is just about killing men and eating them in pies
ticklishbutts:
the Cold War is basically just the United State and the Soviet Union saying how big of a penis they have but when it comes down to it neither of them actually want to flash the other to show for fear the other actually does have a bigger penis
niallshit:
if u feel sad right now look at this bunny eating a flower
meladoodle:
dreams are really weird because you don’t question the reality of them at all. like you could be being chased by a giant banana mafia and the only thing on your mind is ‘fuck, we gotta get to a blender pronto’
tupacabra:
when my mom was pregnant she would put a walkman up to her stomach and play cher’s greatest hits and she apologizes for it every day because she thinks that’s what made me gay
i-am-e-n-c-h-a-n-t-e-d:
svviffer:
girlhearted:
svviffer:
why cant our skin be transparent
cuz thats fuckin gross
but imagine how cool it would be to see your heart do the thing
The thing
sometimelow:
every moment of my life can be described as “that was a dark time for me”
askinnyblackman:
a guide to wearing flip flops
before you put on those flip flops, ask yourself this question
are you a girl
if you answered yes, then you can wear the flip flops
if you answered no, ask yourself this question
are you at a beach or a swimming pool
if you answered no, then you should not wear the flip flops
finnickodaired:
barackinaroundthechristmastree:
WHAT COLOR ARE MIRRORS
let’s reflect on this
phlynn:
DONT SNEEZE WHILE PEEING I JUST MADE A HUGE MISTAKE
an answer to a question
A statement never said: “WE SHOULD INVITE BRITTANY!”
17 years of my goddamn life
devotionii:
devotionii:
devotionii:
devotionii:
devotionii:
i told a cute guy a joke today and he laughed
i have hit first base
im gonna make more small talk with him until i hit second base
he accepts my facebook friend request
HE ACCEPTED ME I’M SO ON MY WAY TO MAKING A HOME RUN
he smiled at me twice and laughed at all my jokes today
i did it
i made a home run
we did it...
batreaux:
myneighbortotoroymoi:
elliot on scrubs was wild ugly.
mom: you haven't moved since I left the house 6 hours ago wtf
me: excuse me where do you think these chips came from
o-k-compooper:
souschen:
i think instead of the woman taking her husband’s name when they get married or doing the hyphenated thing
couples should just smash their last names together
so like if a Smith married a Grabowski you could be Smabowski or Grabith or Grasmithski
and then as the generations go on the names just get more and more ridiculous
why aren’t we doing this
circumcising:
i heard that every time u rev your motorcycle at 6 in the morning u lose an inch of your penis
gay porn has some of the best titles
werewolf-bowtie:
allonsyforever:
One time this boy in my math class ate an eraser
it was last week
i am seventeen years old
the class was A.P. calculus
